Whatafreak – The Blog

If it isn’t already apparent, I have decided to change the theme I am using for my blog. I don’t know if this is going to be the theme I end up using, but I like it for now and am giving it a trial run.

Interestingly enough, I have been accepted to George Fox University against all my prior expectations. I am awaiting some correspondence from the university that should get the ball rolling. Currently, the ball is moving at a glacial pace. I was beginning to become concerned about my application status, but a quick email to my admissions adviser resulted in a phone call from the same informing of my acceptance status. Good news, to be sure. (I wonder if my email resulted in a review of my application or if it was just some happy coincidence that the two happened nearly simultaneously?) I would be daft if I said I was not excited. Knowing that my time here is now on “limited” status is appealing to say the least.

Working for Comcast has been a financial boon for me, but I hate the job. No really, I do. I am hesitant to state this due to the possibility that someone might come across this and my career would be ended shortly. I feel like I need to get this off my chest though and my family has heard enough from me, I am sure. I don’t want to sound like a whiner as I know most people hate their jobs as well, but the endless promises of change with resulting total inaction from superiors is depressing at the least and maddening at the most. We are constantly reminded not to get overtime if at all possible, and yet are expected to complete 8 or more hours of work (as estimated by Comcast itself!) in 6 hours or less. If we get off of work on time, chances are that we haven’t done 8 hours worth of work. If we complete 8 hours of work, chances are that we got overtime. It’s a frustrating circle to be a part of. Both situations can result in a comment or two from supervisors or a full-blown “coaching” in an office with the door closed.

A quick note, I am currently working on a few small projects. I have purchased and built a small computer to act as a media center. I have it working right now, but not with all the features I eventually want. I still have to install the TV tuner card and tweak a few things in order for it to become the DVR/Media PC of my imagination. I also just ordered a slew of things to construct an electronics workshop of sorts. I am getting a new soldering iron, flux, solder, and various cleaning materials to begin experimentation and dabbling in electronics. I will probably start with some pre-made kits to get the ball rolling and move on from there. If anyone has any ideas, feel free to suggest in the comments.

Greetings from beyond!

Hello, I am your new friend and counselor! Now, let us play a fun little game to help us learn each ah-thers names!

But seriously, it’s been a while, I know. These days though, I have little to blog about. I do nothing, I see no one, and I have yet to get a job. I’ve found plenty, and applied at over 40 of them. I don’t know what else to do. I’ve gone and applied at places like burger King (I worked there in the past) without so much as a titter from them. It’s a little depressing.

Okay, it’s ALOT depressing.

Apart from that, I have begun moving forward where my education is concerned. I have applied to CSU Fresno and George Fox University. I have not heard whether or not I am accepted yet, but I only applied about a week ago. If the GFU thing works out, I will probably go there and live with Brad. CSUF is sorta like a backup at this point. I am really sick of Visalia now, so moving away from here is appealing at the moment.

I think often these days, about stuff. The other day, I realized that this is how it’s going to be for the rest of my life. Isn’t it? This feeling that never goes away, a mixture of inadequacy, despair, and mediocrity. It’s an understanding that has settled over me during the past few years, that I am not destined for something great. How can I be? Those who are destined to be great do not take 6 years to obtain a 2 year degree from a community college while earning lackluster grades, for example. That childhood dream we are all indoctrinated with about us being special is a farce, and I think that is what I have come to realize. I no longer have dreams of the future. I no longer aspire to be anything. Daydreams about having a decent house and a running car and a steady job have gone out the window.

I have no idea what the future holds, why set myself up for failure?