Greetings from beyond!
Hello, I am your new friend and counselor! Now, let us play a fun little game to help us learn each ah-thers names!
But seriously, it’s been a while, I know. These days though, I have little to blog about. I do nothing, I see no one, and I have yet to get a job. I’ve found plenty, and applied at over 40 of them. I don’t know what else to do. I’ve gone and applied at places like burger King (I worked there in the past) without so much as a titter from them. It’s a little depressing.
Okay, it’s ALOT depressing.
Apart from that, I have begun moving forward where my education is concerned. I have applied to CSU Fresno and George Fox University. I have not heard whether or not I am accepted yet, but I only applied about a week ago. If the GFU thing works out, I will probably go there and live with Brad. CSUF is sorta like a backup at this point. I am really sick of Visalia now, so moving away from here is appealing at the moment.
I think often these days, about stuff. The other day, I realized that this is how it’s going to be for the rest of my life. Isn’t it? This feeling that never goes away, a mixture of inadequacy, despair, and mediocrity. It’s an understanding that has settled over me during the past few years, that I am not destined for something great. How can I be? Those who are destined to be great do not take 6 years to obtain a 2 year degree from a community college while earning lackluster grades, for example. That childhood dream we are all indoctrinated with about us being special is a farce, and I think that is what I have come to realize. I no longer have dreams of the future. I no longer aspire to be anything. Daydreams about having a decent house and a running car and a steady job have gone out the window.
I have no idea what the future holds, why set myself up for failure?
Our dreams will make it. You’ll see. Confidence or hope about the future isn’t necessary, it will happen.